Down And Out In The City
Of Angels-Danny Glover And Mel Gibson’s “Lethal Weapon 3” (1992)-A Film Review
DVD Review
By Kenny Jacobs
[This time unlike in my
last review in this space when I did a nice job, according to site manager Greg
Green, on Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn’s 1938 Bringing Up Baby now seen as a minor classic directed by Howard
Hawks I really can mimic old-time
reviewer Phil Larkin’s now seemingly patented WFT. Why? Well it seems that the
biggest way that you can get the attention of Greg and the Editorial Board
(which Phil has lambasted to hell as Greg’s toadies but who are all working writers
and so I take umbrage at his remarks that they are nothing but his voting
fodder) is by belly-aching enough about the pick of assignments. At least that
worked for Phil as mild-mannered and demur (if you can use that word describing
a man) Greg Green bowed down to the onslaught and “switched” reviews with me
now doing the one under review, Lethal
Weapon 3, and Phil taking my justly earned plum assignment on the minor
Bogart, Mary Astor, Sydney Greenstreet classic Across the Pacific. I was going to use my take on that review as a
lead-in to another film by this trio the major classic film adaptation of
Dashiell Hammett’s Sam Spade-led The
Maltese Falcon.
So it looks like this
place is starting to be run the way that I am told since I don’t know directly I
am a new kid on the block the same way when the old site manager the now justly
deposed and exiled out in Utah, Nevada, Siberia some place like that Allan
Jackson ran the show. Basically cry big enough crocodile tears and Uncle Greg
will chase your blues away whether you are capable of doing the job or not.
Which off of Phil’s last review of the 1989 version of Batman starring Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson is certainly in
question. That is the one where Phil went off on popcorn-fattened and sugar-high
soda filled young kids, their gullible parents, me as Greg’s goddam teacher’s
pet which is all wrong, theater owners filling kids with fattening popcorn and
cavity-producing sodas, Marvel comic screenwriters who couldn’t figure out a
reasonable plot if they found one on the street, Captain America as a brainless
twit, the Hulk as nothing but a ballooned-up mutant, Thor as nothing but a
beauty queen, Ironman as a highly paid flunky and I don’t know what else since
I stopped reading the thing when I knew there would be conveniently no plot summary.
Hell Phil even took a swipe at eye candy Black Widow.
Guess what he wrote about
three lines of real review. For that the bastard gets a minor Bogie plum on the
way to the big Bogie one which I am sure he will argue for as I would to do the
pair as a combo. So now you know why a young guy like me trying to break into
the film reviewing business to prove to my parents that all that money they
spent on college and graduate school wasn’t wasted is saying WTF. I won’t say I
am a team player yet but I will soldier on as the older writers like to say all
the time when they are behind deadline. Kenny Jacobs]
*********
Funny after all I said
about lame Phil Larkin above in the turf wars for good assignments I have to
agree with him that these modern action films really are predictable. Really
hard, if you want to know,
to get a handle on since,
again kudos to Phil, the plotline was done by some kid in elementary school
whose father just happened to be the credited screenwriter on the leaden balloon.
Harder still (and why I was going to go big on that Across The Pacific/The Maltese Falcon combination) why except for
pure studio/theater owner greed and to fill production space these formula
films have X number of sequels in this case three when the original idea if
decent could not sustain further ramming. In the end all this one has going for
it is a kind of play on the old older/younger buddy films from the likes of Robert Redford and Paul Newman in vehicles
like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
and The Sting. What the latter-day-saint
moneybags producers forget is that those two stars were backed-up by scripts definitely
not written by some credited screenwriter’s child.
Since I am right now
behind the eight ball with Greg and his esteemed Editorial Board sucking wind
on this pig of a film I had better follow the old Sam Lowell commandment and
write a decent plotline summary if I ever expect to see the light of day again.
To keep the hoary tradition
alive here is the “skinny” whatever that means. Our worldly and wary seen it
all City of Angels coppers, and buddies from all appearances, older sensible cop
Roger, played by Danny Glover, and younger but more rash cop Martin, played by
pretty boy Mel Gibson, are in deep doo-doo after failed bomb caper. Working the
demoted streets they run into the proverbial street gangs and their armament,
high-grade stuff not some junkie’s Saturday night special. Stuff that as it
turns out can’t be purchased at Wal-Mart’s. Stuff that could only come from
police confiscations. So this is strictly an inside job. Strictly rogue cop, or
better ex-cop stuff.
Things get heavy when
Roger has to take down some dope-addled black kid with nothing but
semi-automatic weaponry firing back at him in single shot mode. Christ taking
down a kid, a friend of his son’s, and him, this is a weak sister sub-plot him,
days away from a well-deserved retirement. So Roger and Martin bear down, get
everybody they know involved in shaking the palm trees, do some dirty cop work to
get info that might in post-Michael Brown, Black Lives Matter time, not get a
very positive reception. So after the standard rough stuff, the standard
million car chases going the wrong way on death Los Angeles super-highways, the
standard drawn out shoot-out between unequal forces, they the unequal side, they take down that rogue ex-cop. Take him
down good. Guess what after this caper old Roger has some wind still in his
sails and will not retire for a while. Just in case there had to be a Lethal
Weapon 4 segue.
By the way what is not
so weak sister in this mix is the usual dance around between pretty boy Martin
and Laura, the woman copper running the Internal Affairs investigation, played by
fetching Rene Russo. She is female-wise Martin’s twin and before you can close your
eyes they are going round and round under the sheets. She, out in the streets
though, gives as good as she gets taking a few for the cause. What I am wondering
is why not let good old boy Roger retire and let Martin and Laura go
buddy-buddy. I hope to high heaven this is enough to get me back in good graces.
I am tired of running Phil’s tired WFT.
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