On This Good Green Universe Finally A Knight, Knights Too,  In Shining Armor Worth Of The Title-Hal Jordan’s “The Green Lantern” (2011)-A Film Review

By Will Bradley

Finally, finally I can tout a legend worthy of the name-the Green Lantern (both in the individual assigned to protect section 2410, Earth and its environs, Hal Jordan, yes that Hal Jordan of Air Force fighter pilot fame and the 3600 members of the Corps protecting the big bang boogie universe from chaos and fear-provoking characters). As the constant reader well knows by now, I have skewered more than my fair share of dead-beat legends. Guys like Robin Hood, Captain Blood, Don Juan who collectively have via granted good press agents and cultist followings had over-blown, over-rated, fake, lying to beat the band reputations which have been hammered by me with facts and figures. A recent UCal poll (in conjunction with the well-regarded Harrison Foundation) has shown a righteous decline in believe in these popular braggards and blowhards. Now I can rightly play a real pilot, the legendary Jordan against the continuing legacy of one supposed  early aviator Johnny Cielo who has been exposed as having flown a freaking Piper Club, Jesus a Piper Club in his last years ferrying well-heeled playboys and their mistresses from Key West to Naples down in Florida. Hopefully, by comparison, Johnny’s fake legend, nothing but press agent blather will tumble like Larry Lawrence’s (real name of Sherlock Holmes), a guy named Casanova, a bunch of mutants from organizations calling themselves avengers and justice leaguers.       

The nice thing about doing a good public relations job for our protectors, for the Greens is that I can lay off the venom for while and sing the praises of our blessed defenders against, well, against fear (and sloth but let’s grab one at a time and fear has created more deaths that a little overeating-right). That guardianship turns out to have been a very tough and time-consuming job with only a small reprieve for an off- hand snuggling with one Carol Ferris, a little fox, no, a match for our boy’s wits.    

Here’s the play as my antagonist Seth Garth likes to say. The universe was, is in some chaos, engendered by that fear I was just talking about. Yeah, we all know fear is an emotion but what the average citizen does not know, what Hal Jordan before he got hipped, before in the days when all he cared about what wine and women, maybe a little dope to go off track a little, especially while flying those supersonic jets, did not know what that it had a material presence. Something like the worst serpent nightmare, worse that the Garden of Eden serpent who caused all the trouble thereafter. Something like a hundred tsunamis rolled into one with no reverse. This “fear” was relentless and had the old Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, Hitler and pals dream, nightmare for us, desire to rule the whole known universe and maybe some black hole stuff too. A tough, tough adversary.  

That is where Hal comes in. He was not originally a Green but had been recruited by a Green who in battle with that dreaded “fear” came out on the short end, had been mortally wounded despite his bravery. Landed, seemingly by chance, on Earth, near Gotham, Metropolis, you know it as New Jack City and plucked Hal out for one very strong reason-he wasn’t afraid, had no fear when the deal went down as everybody knew it would. Once Hal bought in though he was, like his hero-worshipped by him father, in all the way. So despite the trials and travails and a little flare up or too with that honey of his he banished fear -for now. Without fanfare, with having to be bedecked with medals, and without some desperate press agent spinning lying weaves to gin up what Hal had done. Nice, thanks brother for saving our bacon.