***A Tale Of Two Women- The Saga Of Sam Lowell-Take Two

 

From The Pen Of Frank Jackman

Melinda Loring sat across the high-back café table from Sam Lowell at Rummy Jack’s up in Old Hampstead one chilly March afternoon (that’s in New Hampshire not far from where she lived) with a frown on her face (a permanent Sam sometimes thought but he would not utter that sentiment this day). She was speaking to Sam, without rancor (or maybe better with controlled rancor, yes, that would be a better way to put the matter) and without malice softly, as was her manner, as she told Sam that he had “two women now, whether he liked it or not, whether he recognized the situation or not.” And that short precise statement set the tone for that afternoon, and for the slippery slope downward that brought their affair to an end so that at last notice they had not spoken to each other, had not e-mailed each other in months. But we had better step back in this Melinda-Sam saga before we go forward where those words of Melinda will get more play than one Samuel Lowell, North Adamsville High School Class of 1964 could have imagined when he decided innocently that he wanted in on his class’s 50^th anniversary reunion celebration. 

Naturally one does not wind up at Rummy Jack’s having a late lunch with one woman (of that “spoken of ” two but more on number two later), one old classmate to boot, without some discussion of their pre-history, some discussion of how that insistent “two women” comment came forth from Melinda’s mouth, since this pair had not known each other back in high school (although Sam had given her many furtive glances in the corridors back then, had made something of a science out of those glances, she just ignored him, or better, was clueless about who he was and what he was doing to “connect” with her back then. That however never stopped those furtive glances of his back then or later whenever he was interested in a woman, no way). They had only recently connected via the class website established by the class reunion committee (of which Sam had become a part before he “met” Melinda on the site).

That off-hand class website “meeting” turned from a simple welcome on Sam’s part as “unofficial” greeter as classmates became members of the site where he remarked when she joined about those long ago furtive glances of his and a short comment about how guys he respected told him that Melinda was “unapproachable” and he had moved on into a frantic furious exchange of e-mails when they found that while they had not known each other back then they shared many academic, social, political, literary and personal connections and interests.  (Wondering, both wondering, aloud in those frantic e-mails, he had made her laugh with their urgency once when he said that he hoped they would not run out of cyberspace, why the hell they had not met back then). The frantic e-mails eventually led to frantic cellphone calls (she liked his voice, liked his soft-spoken-ness, he liked her fresh spirit, her organized sense of things) which naturally led to that first date where she called him in an emotional moment of delight (prematurely, very prematurely, as it turned out) her “forever” man and he, a little slower on the uptake than she and more neutral about that first date (although when she took his arm walking he did not flinch, liked her boldness so early) was smitten with her after the second date. (They both remarked in the inevitable later e-mail or cellphone call that their parting that night was hard neither wanting to leave the other after big hugs and he caressing her hair to comfort her when she teared up.)

Well first date, second date, “forever” man, smitten all added up to going under the satin sheets together. (Even that occurrence although both thought the event inevitable when they both believed they affair was written in the stars had a certain unintended drama, a false start when he had invited her to his hotel room one night, before they actually did the “do the do”-their term borrowed from a Howlin’ Wolf song.) All along in those fierce devoted weeks there was an upward curve that one could almost trace with one’s finger but also a slight tension underlying their plans for the future. Sam, thinking about it later though the whole curve seemed impossible, seemed impossible that they could move so quickly, especially on her part since she was organized sensible one of the two, no question. Then the other shoe fell.

See Sam was smitten, but he was also conflicted, was not sure where he wanted the relationship to go. Was not sure he and Melinda had staying power. Hell, was not sure about how he felt about Laura. Laura? Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you the name of the second woman before. Sam had had a long- time relationship with Laura, a companion whom Melinda was aware of and who Sam said to her had become, after having been lovers for a number of years, something like roommates. See they shared a house together down in Whelan (in Massachusetts which is where he lived and which was one of the points of contention between Sam ad Melinda since she wanted him to come up and live with her in New Hampshire). Well that “roommate” explanation is what he gave Melinda to believe, and he confessed to her later that he thought that was the right designation then, but as the Sam-Melinda relationship developed he had confront the fact that he had stronger feelings for Laura than he let on to Melinda. Had developed some “cold feet” when the idea of breaking up the Sam-Laura household came into the open. Came into the open as Melinda pressed the issue of Sam’s leaving his old relationship. Cold feet not because he was unsure of Melinda so much as that he would be leaving his “comfort zone” to be with Melinda and and was unsure how much he wanted to spent a lot of time up in the Podunk New Hampshire town where she lived. The stars were becoming unaligned.   

It does not take a great literary mind, a great knowledge of human psychology, or even a treasure trove of common sense, to know that nothing but trouble was brewing, brewing up a storm that would not subside until there was not common language that Sam and Melinda could speak to each other. Naturally Melinda, a woman who had been twice divorced, twice divorced under trying circumstances where she had to initiate the proceedings and wanted only one “forever” man and her to be his forever woman. She had made it clear from the beginning that she was a “one man woman” and that she wanted no fling and no affair but the real deal with all the bells and whistles or nothing (although not marriage, not that institution which she had had enough of, thank you).

She worked her understanding of their relationship under that strategic imperative all through their few months together, pressing Sam as often as she could about when he was going to leave Laura (at one point suggesting that he just move out of Whelan and get a place of his own if he was not ready to live with her). See she had her plans for Sam and they did not include any kind of three-some, in reality her as the “other” woman (truthfully Sam did not want that either) or some such “modern” arrangement. Sam hemmed and hawed but as he got more interested in Melinda, got a better sense that she would be good for him, would be good in a way that Laura and he could not do anymore, got more committed to leaving Laura since they had hit a very serious dry patch in their relationship he would still have recurring second thoughts. One night he yelled out to Melinda (after having said the exact words to Laura earlier in the day) that he had “given up” on Laura and he said he was just waiting for an excuse to move on. Melinda meanwhile was getting more and more anxious about putting a life for of them together (they after all were not sixteen, although they both laughed that in some ways they were acting like that, had not outgrown some teenage quirks) and time was an enemy. And that urgency on Melinda’s part brought them to Rummy Jack’s that cold march afternoon after they had exchanged a couple of acrimonious e-mails and decided they needed to meet quickly face to face to hash things out, or split if that was in the cards. That split perspective came out in the open for the first time. And hence Melinda’s opening statement.   

Sam, when he thought about the break-up, thought about it constantly for a while, had never been sure about the what or why of Melinda’s breaking off the affair shortly after that lunch (and after another series of acrimonious e-mails and cellphone calls). Was not sure at all on that subject beyond the tense arguments at the end (including at Rummy Jack’s where they almost got into a yelling match there and later   while walking the beach to try and calm down using the ocean waves to smooth things out, if possible) and one ill-advised e-mail where he proposed that they become “friends” for a while. (An ill-advised e-mail which she called a “closing argument” and he a “love letter” to show how far apart they had were then.) That abrupt ending bothered Sam considerable over the next few months while he absent-mindedly speculated that she might had decided to go back with man who she had dropped when she took up with him, might have had enough of the “two woman” drama (as had he), or maybe just got her own version of cold feet but in any case she would not answer his calls, answer his e-mails for an explanation except to tell him not to call or e-mail any longer.

Prior to this final dismissal Melinda had kept putting him off for a couple of weeks, told Sam  they should be apart that long to see if she felt the same after that time and if so would close the whole thing off. But this is what really had (has) Sam more confused than anything because he had actually told Laura he was leaving her for Melinda during this period when Melinda was in the process of dumping him (his word, she called it “breaking off the relationship,” I favor Sam’s term). Fortunately, or so he thought so later when he had calmed down enough to think rationally about the situation and realized that was just another aspect of those second thoughts that had plagued their relationship, he had hedged his bets with Laura, had sensed that Melinda’s decision would be negative, and made that leaving of their joint household in Whelan conditional on what Melinda’s final decision was to be.

Naturally Laura was not thrilled with Sam behavior. Hell, she was as angry as he had ever seen her since all along he had downplayed his affair with Melinda declaring one night when she confronted him that they were “just friends.” Almost left the house right then and there when he explained the real situation with Melinda. Laura, a soft-spoken, pacifistic woman   almost hit him on another later night when Sam burst out during one conversation that he had “two women” and had unfortunately said it with a certain dramatic flair saying in such a way like “what is a guy to do with such good luck.” She would bring that remark up constantly to him when after Melinda’s decision to split became final and Sam in a desperate effort to salvage his long-time relationship with Laura and not face the wicked old world alone begged her forgiveness they decided that they would stay together. She would bring the remark up to friends to embarrass him, to make him seem the fool having “left” Laura for, ah, a “never” woman. Made it plain that he only had only had one woman now. Or else.

But see that is where Laura was wrong, where the ghost of Melinda really had the last laugh. After Melinda dumped him he kept constantly thinking about her, tried to unsuccessfully contact her a couple of times before letting the efforts fade out. Thought, alongside that confusion about why Melinda decided to dump him, about ways and times when they might try to reconcile in his head. Thought, almost daily, about what a fool he had been to tell Laura he was leaving without a better understanding of Melinda’s actions, how Melinda had made a fool of him dumping him just when he had decided in her favor, about how foolish he had been to hem and haw over Melinda when he knew their thing was written in the stars, and would get angry at the thought that Melinda for all her words, all her plans, was not built for tough times as he had thought. Alternatively he would think about that first night of love together giggling like two teenagers, of times when they talked and talked all night heads next to each other just to be together, of the times when she took his arm and he caressed her hair to comfort her, and of little things she did to make him happy which he didn’t appreciate nearly enough.

For a long time afterward on many lonesome-hearted nights when he would be sitting with Laura talking over dinner he would be thinking of Melinda, thinking about how their thing had really been written in the stars after all and that he had made a mistake in not trying desperately to keep her when he had the chance. Would find himself thinking about Melinda in lots of situations and at strange times. Would get kind of swoony, would make up ways in his head about fantasy reconciliations. Yeah, so in the dark of night, some sweaty summer night when he could not sleep Sam knew, knew deep down that he still had “two women,” Melinda still had her hooks in him, and he was still missing his Linny.